The words hit her like a physical blow.
“You don’t need your uterus anymore anyway, so we might as well remove it.”
Jennifer sat in the sterile examination room, staring at her gynecologist in disbelief. She had come seeking help for heavy periods and pelvic pain that had been disrupting her life for months. She was forty-seven, still menstruating regularly, and nowhere near menopause. But instead of exploring root causes or discussing less invasive options, her doctor was casually suggesting surgical removal of a vital organ as if it were no more significant than removing a splinter.
“But I’m still having regular cycles,” Jennifer said, her voice barely above a whisper.
The doctor shrugged. “At your age, you should be thinking about wrapping that up anyway. A hysterectomy will solve all your problems.”
Jennifer left that appointment feeling dismayed, dismissed, and significantly smaller than when she had arrived. She called me that evening, her voice shaking. “He was talking about my uterus like it’s a broken appliance that needs to be thrown away. But it’s part of my body. It’s part of ME.”
This conversation – and so many others I’ve heard – illustrates one of the most damaging forms of medical gaslighting that women face: the casual disregard for our bodily autonomy and the systematic devaluing of our reproductive organs once we’re deemed “past our prime.”
The Language That Diminishes Women’s Authority
Jennifer’s experience reflects a pattern I’ve witnessed countless times in my twenty-six years of practice. The dismissive messaging that midlife women receive from medical professionals often sounds like this:
- “I won’t send you for hormonal testing because I don’t know what to do with the results.”
- “You just need to live with the brain fog and hot flashes – it’s part of getting older.”
- “All I can do is put you on hormone therapy, but we don’t need to test your levels first.”
- “Your symptoms are probably just stress. Have you considered seeing a therapist?”
Each of these statements represents a fundamental failure to recognize women as the ultimate experts on their own bodies. They reflect a medical system designed around male physiology and authority, leaving women’s complex hormonal transitions poorly understood and inadequately addressed.
But perhaps most damaging, these statements teach women to doubt their own perceptions and accept suboptimal health as inevitable rather than investigating root causes and exploring natural alternatives.
Margaret, a fifty-two-year-old teacher, had been struggling with debilitating fatigue, mood swings, and cognitive fog for over a year. Three different doctors had run basic blood tests, pronounced her “normal,” and suggested antidepressants. “They made me feel like I was imagining everything,” she told me. “Like I was just a hysterical middle-aged woman who couldn’t handle getting older.”
But Margaret wasn’t imagining anything. When we addressed her nutritional deficiencies and supported her adrenal function, her symptoms improved dramatically. She didn’t need psychiatric medication – she needed someone to listen to her body’s signals and address the root causes.
The Moment Everything Changed
Three days after that devastating appointment, Jennifer made a decision that transformed her health journey. Instead of scheduling the hysterectomy, she chose to become her own health detective.
She started keeping a detailed symptom journal, tracking her menstrual cycles, energy levels, sleep patterns, stress levels, and dietary choices. She researched her symptoms – not to self-diagnose, but to educate herself about possible causes and treatment options. She sought out practitioners who specialized in women’s hormonal health and viewed her symptoms as valuable information rather than inconvenient complaints.
What she discovered was both empowering and revealing. Her heavy periods and pelvic pain weren’t mysterious conditions requiring surgical intervention – they were symptoms of underlying imbalances that could be addressed through targeted nutrition, stress management, and gentle hormonal support.
Within six months of taking charge of her health journey, Jennifer’s symptoms had improved dramatically. Her periods became manageable, her energy returned, and most importantly, she had reclaimed confidence in her body’s wisdom.
“I realized that the doctor who wanted to remove my uterus had spent maybe ten minutes in total examining me,” she told me months later. “But I had been living in my body for forty-seven years. I knew when something was wrong, and I knew when something was getting better. I was my own best advocate all along.”
Jennifer’s transformation wasn’t just about resolving physical symptoms – it was about reclaiming authority over her own body and health decisions.
Understanding Medical Dismissal of Women
Medical dismissal occurs when healthcare providers minimize or misattribute patients’ symptoms, often leading people to question their own perceptions. For midlife women, this phenomenon is particularly pervasive.
Research shows that women’s pain is more likely to be dismissed as emotional, that women wait longer for pain medication in emergency rooms, and that women’s heart attacks are more likely to be misdiagnosed because their symptoms don’t match male-centred models that most medical professionals are trained to recognize.
But medical dismissal goes beyond misdiagnosis. It’s a systematic undermining of women’s authority over our own bodies, particularly as we age. The message is clear: once you’re past your reproductive prime, your symptoms become less important and your preferences become less relevant.
This is particularly evident in how the medical establishment approaches menopause and perimenopause. Instead of viewing these transitions as natural developmental phases that can be supported and optimized, they’re often treated as diseases to be managed through pharmaceutical intervention.
Linda, a forty-nine-year-old executive, was told by her doctor that her irregular periods, sleep disruption, and mood changes were “just menopause” and that she should either accept them or take synthetic hormones. When we explored her symptoms more deeply, we discovered exhausted adrenal glands from chronic stress, suboptimal thyroid function, and nutritional deficiencies that were exacerbating her hormonal fluctuations.
By addressing these underlying imbalances through nutrition, stress management, and targeted supplementation, Linda’s symptoms improved significantly. She didn’t need to choose between suffering and synthetic hormones – she needed support for her body’s natural transition.
Reclaiming Your Health Authority
The antidote to medical dismissal isn’t rejecting all medical care or becoming adversarial with healthcare providers. It’s remembering that you are your own best medicine – that you are the ultimate expert on your own body and the ultimate authority on your health decisions.
This means approaching healthcare as collaboration rather than hierarchy. You bring irreplaceable information to every medical encounter: your complete health history, your understanding of your body’s patterns and responses, your knowledge of what makes you feel better or worse, and your intuitive sense of what feels right.
Healthcare providers bring valuable knowledge about anatomy, physiology, diagnostic tools, and treatment options. But they don’t have access to the subtle signals your body sends you, the patterns you’ve observed over decades, or the deep knowing that something is wrong even when tests come back “normal.”
When these two types of expertise are combined respectfully, the results can be transformative. But when medical authority overrides your body wisdom, the results are often disappointing at best and harmful at worst.
Susan, a fifty-five-year-old artist, had been struggling with joint pain and fatigue for months. Her rheumatologist found nothing definitive and suggested she was experiencing “normal aging.” But Susan knew this fatigue felt different – deeper and more systemic than anything she had experienced before.
When we explored her health history together, we discovered her symptoms had begun after intense emotional stress following her mother’s death. By addressing the connection between grief, stress, and immune function and supporting her body’s natural healing processes, Susan’s symptoms gradually resolved. Her instinct that something was wrong had been correct – she just needed a practitioner who would listen to her body’s wisdom rather than dismissing it.
The Queen’s Emergence in Health Sovereignty
For many women, the experience of being dismissed by medical professionals becomes a catalyst for stepping into what I call “The Queen” energy – the sovereign authority over your own life and wellbeing that naturally emerges during midlife.
The Queen doesn’t ask permission to prioritize her health. She doesn’t apologize for seeking answers when something feels wrong. She doesn’t accept suboptimal wellbeing as inevitable just because she’s reached a certain age.
The Queen recognizes that her body is not a machine to be fixed by external experts but a complex, intelligent system that has been serving her faithfully for decades. She approaches her health with curiosity rather than fear, with self-compassion rather than self-criticism, and with confidence in her own observations and instincts.
This shift from passive patient to active health advocate often extends beyond medical encounters. Women who learn to trust their body wisdom find themselves trusting their instincts in other areas of life as well. They become more willing to question authority, more confident in their own judgment, and more committed to making decisions based on their values rather than external expectations.
Building Your Health Investigation Skills
Becoming your own best medicine doesn’t mean becoming a medical expert overnight. It means developing skills and confidence to investigate your health concerns and advocate effectively within the conventional medical system.
Start by keeping a detailed health journal. Track not just obvious symptoms but energy levels, sleep quality, mood patterns, digestive function, and anything else relevant to your wellbeing. Look for patterns and connections that might not be obvious in brief medical appointments.
Research your symptoms and conditions wisely. Use reputable sources for scientific studies, and seek out holistic practitioners who specialize in your particular concerns. Join online communities of women dealing with similar issues, but remember that what works for someone else may not work for you.
Learn to ask better questions during medical appointments. Instead of accepting vague explanations like “it’s just part of aging,” ask for specific information about what might be causing your symptoms and what options exist for addressing them. Request copies of your test results and learn to interpret them, or share them with holistic healthcare providers you choose to work with.
Most importantly, trust your instincts about practitioners. If a healthcare provider consistently dismisses your concerns, interrupts you, or makes you feel foolish for asking questions, find someone else. There are practitioners who will treat you as a partner in your health journey rather than a passive recipient of their expertise.
Navigating Perimenopause and Menopause Naturally
One area where medical dismissal is most prevalent is in the approach to perimenopause and menopause. Women are often told their only options are to suffer through symptoms, take hormone replacement, or have a hysterectomy, with little discussion of natural approaches that can provide significant relief.
The truth is that perimenopause and menopause are natural transitions that can be supported through nutrition, lifestyle changes, stress management, and targeted supplementation. Many women find that addressing underlying imbalances – such as adrenal fatigue, thyroid dysfunction, nutrient deficiencies, or toxin exposure – dramatically improves their experience of this transition.
But discovering these natural approaches requires becoming your own health advocate. It means researching beyond what your doctor tells you, seeking out practitioners who understand hormonal transitions, and being willing to experiment with different approaches to find what works for your unique body.
The Courage to Trust Yourself
Perhaps the most powerful thing a midlife woman can do is trust her own perceptions about her body and health. In a culture that systematically undermines women’s authority, particularly as we age, choosing to believe your own experience over external dismissal is transformative.
This doesn’t mean rejecting all medical care or becoming paranoid about healthcare providers. It means approaching your health from empowerment rather than dependence, curiosity rather than fear, and self-advocacy rather than passive compliance.
It means recognizing that your symptoms are information, not inconveniences. That your body’s signals deserve attention, not dismissal. That your preferences and concerns are valid, regardless of your age or reproductive status.
Most importantly, it means remembering that you have been living in your body longer than any healthcare provider has been observing it. You know when something feels wrong, when something feels right, and when something needs attention. This knowledge is not less valuable than medical training – it’s different and complementary.
When Jennifer first called me after that devastating appointment, she was questioning her own sanity. “Maybe he’s right,” she said. “Maybe I am just being dramatic about normal symptoms.” But as we worked together to address her health concerns naturally, she learned to trust her observations and advocate for her needs.
“I realized that dismissing my own experience was just another form of self-abandonment,” she told me later. “My body had been trying to tell me something important, and I almost let someone else convince me to ignore it. Never again.”
A New Vision for Midlife Health
Jennifer’s story, which began with a callous suggestion to remove her uterus, ended with her becoming a powerful advocate for her own health and wellbeing. She learned to interpret her body’s signals, research her options, and make informed decisions based on her own values and preferences.
More importantly, she learned that being her own best medicine didn’t mean having all the answers – it meant having the courage to ask the right questions, the wisdom to trust her observations, and the confidence to seek out practitioners who would support her journey rather than override her instincts.
This is what becomes possible when we refuse to accept medical dismissal as normal or inevitable. We reclaim authority over our own bodies, we model empowerment for other women, and we contribute to a healthcare system that truly serves women’s needs rather than dismissing them
The Queen within you knows when something is wrong. She knows when a practitioner is truly listening or simply going through the motions. Trust her wisdom. She has been guiding you faithfully for decades.
Your body is not a broken machine that needs to be fixed by external experts. It’s an intelligent, complex system that has been serving you faithfully and deserves to be treated with respect, curiosity, and care.
The time for accepting dismissive treatment is over. Your health, your body, and your instincts deserve better.
An Invitation to Begin
You can do all the “right” things and still feel like you’re speaking a language no one understands. The problem isn’t you; it’s the script you’ve been handed. This guide dismantles the five foundational lies the medical-industrial complex tells women about their health, so you can begin to reclaim your power. Download “5 Lies Modern Women Are Told About Health” and start your reclamation.
This journey begins with a simple recognition: you know your body better than anyone else ever could. Your observations, your instincts, and your lived experience are valuable information that deserves to be heard, honoured, and acted upon.
Trust yourself – you are your own best medicine.
