Midlife Majesty

Midlife is a call to reexamine our priorities.

As we enter into our 40s and 50s, we are faced with a newfound pressure or urgency to truly live, to go all-in on our desires.

This might look like learning a new language, embarking on a mindfulness journey, writing a book or taking up other artistic pursuits, shedding ill-fitting relationships, or planning solo travel adventures.

For many, midlife may herald a personal health crisis, a loved one or friend falling ill, or simply a nameless longing that shows up in our hearts.

Not only is this a biologically significant time where our physical body undergoes changes - but this is also when many behaviours, decisions, patterns, and structures that we have relied on for much of our adult life start to feel constricting, outdated, or downright unbearable.

At midlife, we often find ourselves in a phase of yearning for change, growth, depth, and a reckoning of the path we find ourselves on. We are more ourselves than we have ever been - and yet, we are also embarking on a major process of transformation.

We are no longer young maidens, nor glowing new mothers - but we are quite far from being elders and crones. 

A woman's best years of her life may be after she turns 40 - but society wishes to keep secret the feral, seasoned power that belongs to women at midlife.

Unfortunately, midlife is also when the cumulative effects of our lifestyle and decisions thus far converge and combine to create a perfect storm of uncomfortable symptoms - whether these are physical discomforts, relationship difficulties, or other shifts in our 'baseline'.

We can view midlife as an unfortunate challenge to be borne - or a golden opportunity for change and transformation - it's all in how we approach it.

The Astrology of Midlife

Astrologically speaking, the so-called "mid-life crisis" is marked by our Uranus opposition. The planet Uranus is about awakening, transformation, breaking free of convention, and embracing creativity.

Uranus has an orbit of approximately 84 years around the Sun, which means that in the years just before and after age 42, we experience the transit of Uranus at the farthest point from where it was in the sky at the time of our birth.

This personal time of extremes can show up as friction within friendships, romantic break-ups and fallings-out, and an overall restructuring of our emotional and social priorities.

Our midlife era can herald the arrival of major shifts as you and your loved ones strategize new ways of being that are more supportive, holistic, and loving toward this new, upgraded version of yourself. Sometimes this looks like letting go of certain relationships once we notice that they cost us a lot to maintain, but give back very little.

The Uranus opposition is meant to shake up the complacent life we've built thus far, so we can summon the courage to create a unique, self-driven life, regardless of what others think.

The Reckoning of our Choices: What Is Important?

Too often, we find ourselves facing the practical and physical changes of midlife feeling mentally (if not physically) overburdened, and sadly ill-acquainted with our own emotions, dreams, and yearnings.

We probably imagine ourselves to be the prime creative directors of our lives, so it can be startling to realize just how much energy we unwittingly spend taking dictation from external expectations of us, all of which have been heavily influenced by unquestioned cultural norms.

In shining the light of clarity back onto the past, many women notice that a lot of their lives have been spent quietly supporting the successes of their partners and caring for their children and/or parents in a multitude of ways.

Perhaps this was a conscious choice all along, and there is deep beauty in that…but the razor's edge of midlife brings the full and complex hindsight of our choices and habits into sharp clarity.

Even for those of us who do not have children or partners, the journey to midlife grants us wisdom, grace, and fortitude that our 20-year-old selves simply did not yet possess - and with it, a reckoning of our decisions is at hand.

Our Priorities and Emotions

After a decade or more of lukewarm commitment to ourselves, midlife shows up and demands that we prioritize ourselves, our needs, and our physical and emotional wellbeing!

Dr. Edward Bach is a 19th century physician and homeopath who believed that the roots of all physical illness and disease (literally, dis-ease) begin in our psyche - namely, in our thoughts and emotions.

This metaphysical perspective offers yet another look at why midlife can present a challenging set of circumstances for many women.

Our old ways of coping no longer work for us, because the old ways relied on neglecting our physical body's needs for rest, movement, and proper nourishment; chasing externally defined ambition and markers of success; potentially imbibing in varying amounts of stimulants like caffeine and alcohol; and on some level, repression of our heart's deepest yearnings.

Many of us have gone years tolerating a stressful work environment, a sub-par romantic relationship, or simply an unreasonable share of the mental load of taking care of everyone around us. These 'paper tigers' can sabotage us over time by creating damaging or hurtful thought-patterns, wearing grooves in our neuro-circuitry that favour emotional states of stress.

Moreover, we know that the very expression of our genes is impacted by our thoughts within seconds, carried on electro-magnetic currents through the water in our cells to every DNA molecule in our bodies.

If emotional states are left unaddressed over time, or worse, ignored or repressed - our vitality and resilience will inevitably suffer.

Matriarchal Leadership and the Gifts of Menopause

Practically speaking, menopause indicates the end of our fertile years.

This can be a time of deep grief as we grapple with the loss of such a profound piece of our identity as women. Until very recently, menopause was seldom discussed at all, except to lament (and perhaps joke about) hot flashes and various other physical discomforts associated with it.

However, new research into menopause from an evolutionary standpoint shows that adaptive changes are also happening in our brain at this time. As our estrogen levels decline, we may experience an increase in our capacity for memory, emotional processing, and decision-making.

Interestingly, a woman who is post-menopausal has the least hormonal fluctuation of any adult human, including both women and men!

When we put this research into the context of matriarchal societies, it makes sense that mature women were often the leaders of their tribes - both politically and spiritually. These wise women were tasked with diplomacy and leadership, organization of tasks and people - and they were also healers, crafters, builders, hunters, etc. 

Maiden, Mother, Crone, and the Missing Archetype of Midlife

As we reach midlife, we face a lack of cultural scripts for ourselves as women. We are increasingly aware of how our lives are unfolding–and we have gained different perspectives and priorities than those of early adulthood.

It is here where I believe that the ancient feminine archetypes of Maiden, Mother, and Crone are missing a vital phase…perhaps stolen from our narrative long ago.

There can be upward of 50 years between becoming a mother in our 20s and 30s and stepping into the fullness of the matriarchal role as a crone - a wise elder - so why does society downplay these potent years of our lives?

What of the decades between these stages; past 40, and into our 50s, 60s, and 70s?

The Banished Years

During these "banished years," so much is happening, crystallizing, becoming...

We are likely to be in our sexual prime, with the ease and savvy that comes with knowing what we want and like, and more directness in asserting our desires.

Additionally, we have more freedom for reflection and "selfishness" as our children reach adulthood and leave our homes to make their way in the world as adults - a bittersweet transition of both joy and grief.

However, instead of embracing our sensuality, creativity, and independence at midlife, modern women suffer a dearth of empowered, self-aware role models in popular media and movies. The best years of our life have been erased from our cultural narrative!

The Queen Archetype – a Symbol of Midlife

This is where the archetype of the Queen arises. The Queen does not need to prove herself to others. She is not to be trifled with and is increasingly capable of defending both herself and anyone else whom she invites within her Queendom. The Queen understands divine timing and the nature of consequences, and she reinforces her boundaries without apology or hesitancy.

The Queen has long since parted ways with blind optimism, and uses the wisdom she’s gained over the years to cultivate a life of peace, success, and sovereignty.

I see so many women struggling at this stage of life with not only their physical health, hormonal transitions, and body shape transformations; but also with emotional resilience, shifting expectations in their lives, and changes in their romantic and sexual health and relationships.

Resisting Change or Embracing Metamorphosis

To be certain, these years mark a significant shift. Midlife is a metamorphosis of clarity, passion, and purpose in the sovereign foundations of being true to our whole, divine selves. Even our physical body changes shape, form, and function!

However, expanding into the version of ourselves whom we yearn to become will necessitate taking a hard, honest look at what's not working...and at who might not be welcome to tag along on this next leg of our soul's journey.

We can be vibrant and passionate, wielding our full power and sovereignty in new and expansive ways - if we can also find the courage and self-compassion to embrace change, open ourselves to new possibilities, and do the challenging work of creating new, higher standards for ourselves...from our nutrition and lifestyle choices to our relationships.

When we decide to live authentically, look at our habits with both clarity and compassion, and hold ourselves to higher standards overall - we can drop the stories that speak of our 40s and beyond as a time of decline.

Instead of fearing the changes that midlife brings, we can celebrate these years as a time of necessary upgrades - which may turn out to be the most vital, active, and joyful years of our life!

This is a journey I share, and it is a journey I’m so excited to be digging into much more fully with all of you at this time.

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